What really happened
by Tofujolras
Summary: Ever wonder what happened when Cloud was talking to Zack in the middle of the Advent Children Sephiroth fight? Now ya know! Crack. Major crack. Including a starbucks rendezvous :D


Hey everyone! Fang here, along with her sister! XD We were bored doing the dishes and came up with this crack fanfic :3

**Sister:** The heck? My username is 'sister'. Oh well. *sigh* So my sister did most of the thinking up and I did the typing. (Maaan, I really hardly got to do anything now that I think about it.) But, uh, I did make some stuff here and there... A couple of sentences have my name on them.

**Fang:** Uh...thank you ...'Sister' :D Heehee. Ok! We don't own FF7, The Phantom of the Opera, Starbucks, Pirates of the Caribbean, or a certain Travis Willingham panel.

**Sister:** That was a really good panel. And, yeah. We don't own a thing.

**Fang:** Hope you like it! :3

* * *

><p>Sephiroth smirked. "Tell me what you cherish most. Give me the pleasure of taking it away."<p>

Cloud gasped and turned around as an imaginary question mark floated over Sephiroth's head. He stayed silent for a while. "Zack..."

Sephiroth's eye twitched. "He's so delusional. Zack's been in the Lifestream for ages!" Cloud seemed to be talking to an imaginary person. Seph tapped his foot in the sky, impatiently. "I got better stuff to do than fight this skitzo."

"So I'm standing there, nothing else to do but go after the runt myself!" Erik said, as he sipped his Caramel Macchiato.

Sephiroth laughed and elbowed the guy next to him. "Hey, Jack, you heard this story before?"

Jack winced, "_Captain Jack Sparrow. _And no I haven't!" He said exploding with laughter and falling backward. A "This guy is hilarious!" Was heard from the floor.

Sephiroth chuckled, "No more rum for Jack."

"CAPTAIN!"

"Go on with the story!"

Erik grinned from behind his mask and stood up, gesturing out the rest of the story. "And so, after I catch up to Raoul, he goes flying, and I mean FLYING down the ski hill. Now I'm stuck here with a gorgeous babe, and my newly acquired green lamp, and this is heaven. But then-" He chugged his coffee and thunked it on the table. "Then she gives me those puppy eyes and then pushes me off the cliff!"

Jack and Sephiroth laughed so hard they cried.

"And I'm not even kidding! Now, stop laughing, this is the best part. ... So I'm going down, and somehow, I lost balance and all of a sudden I only have one ski! I still don't know how that happened. And as I am skiing out of control, I see the wimp-And he's doing fine! He looks like some Olympic! And I, meanwhile, am running into every tree, every stone! And as I'm looking at the brat he motions to me, and he's shouting, and he's like, 'Look out! Look out!', and I'm all like 'What jou talkin bout, I'm not pouting!'"

At which point Sephiroth's stomach started hurting from laughter.

"And so then he's like 'No! Look out!' And I'm all thinking, What does he mean, I'm not in grave danger or any-HOLY! I found my other ski. It was tumbling down towards me! So the ski goes and hits me and I feel my actual SHOULDER break! And so then once I stop, the fop comes towards me like some natural and asks if I need help!"

"That's so messed up!" Jack said in between crack-up sessions.

"And so he's all like-" Erik made his voice as high as it could go, "-'Oh can I help you and make you look so darn dumb in front of Christine?' And I'm like, 'My shoulder just broke; I don't care if I look weak!' So I let the wimp carry me up, and while he's asking me why I'm uncomfortably light as a feather, and then-the dumbo-he slips on some ice and we both fall down again!"

Sephiroth fell back onto the floor. "Se...haha... Seriously?"

"Believe it or not, I have proof! My second fall gave me serious facial scars, showing here..." He tore off his mask and everyone in Starbucks screamed and ran away.

"So THAT'S how you got them..." Sephiroth and Jack said in union.

"Yeah, everyone thinks they were a birth defect. The heck? I was **beautiful** from birth, thank you!" Sephiroth and Jack stood up and applauded.

Sephy looked at his watch and sighed. "I gotta go, guys. I think Cloud's almost done talking to the voices in his head."

"Ah, man!" Erik said sadly.

"That's messed up." Jack said, depressed. "Oh, well. See you around!"

"Saturday night!" Sephiroth said as he ran off. Err... Flew off.

"I... Made it..." Sephiroth panted as he got back to the building where Cloud was over the course of about twenty four seconds.

"Alright then, Zack. But make sure you strap your pillow on before you go off again, okay? Okay. Bye."

Sephiroth looked at him. "Where were we...?"

"Ah, yes... Um... I pity you. You just don't get it at all."

Sephiroth 'Heheheh'ed. Then he ran towards Cloud and tried to attack, but his attack was blocked.

He jumped off of a wall and hovered in the air. Cloud leapt into the air as well and took out his sword, "There's not a thing I don't cherish!" Cloud then pulled his sword back and flung it forward, allowing all of his blades to come out and surround Sephiroth. Moving fast enough to leave golden after-glows, he performed his Limit Break "Omnislash V5" on Sephiroth, defeating him.

Cloud jumped back down. "Stay where you belong ... in my memories."

Sephiroth looked at him, "I will ... never be a memory." A black wing encased Sephiroth making him go back into the Lifestream and Kadaj return. Lil' ol' Daj tried to give an attack, but just lands in Cloud's arms with his sword gone. (That's saaad) A murmur of 'Caramel Macchiato...' was heard.


End file.
